Start Unzipping, Parker. Straight…in Diamonds.

If we recall, I love games (see: I kicked my co workers butt at Skeeball). So any time a game or tournament arises, I will most likely be intrigued/want to DOMINATE.

Well, it has come to my attention that tomorrow (yes the day after TODAY) I will be in a poker tournament of a CLIENTS for WORK.

Uhm.

What.

I know two things about poker- it uses the whole deck (52 cards?) and there are certain hands to attain that sound an awful like terms in Yahtzee.

And, THAT’S IT.

Google is not teaching me fast enough! Now all the pressure is on me to just simply NOT LOOK DUMB.

Ugh, I can see it now. Me. Crying in humiliation. Mascara running down my cheeks. Overturning tables on my way out. Poker chips and cards flying everywhere. Me breaking a heel because I thought I could kick a table over…

Actually, the only thing that would most likely is me crying…but probably in the bathroom of the tournament place (Casino?). I am not too proud to have a prom night cry fest in the bathroom.

I just hope my inner competitiveness doesn’t come out. Considering my past experiences with losing, I don’t handle it well. Now, I am not a sore loser or anything. But if you rub it in my face and act like a know-it-all, I WILL CALL YOU OUT AND BE A HUGE BI-ATCH. I don’t apologize either; your tears won’t make me feel bad.

That whole paragraph wreaks of the A-word….(no, not awful) Awesome.

Nonetheless, while I was thinking about me actually playing poker (aka sweating my ass off cause I am nervous) I thought about one thing…The Parent Trap. So I leave you all with a super awesome movie, that we all know and love. Also starring one of the most honorable woman of our time, Lindsay Lohan. They grow up so fast, don’t they?!

-T

PS. Lindsay Lohan and I share the same birthday. Thats only thing we have in common…besides my constant drug busts, nbd.

Run and Tell That, Homeboy

Last night, before watching the finale of Big Brother (it’s awesome, don’t judge), my friend Erica showed us the most hilarious youtube videos….so now it is my turn to introduce THUPER THYSTERICAL THURSDAYS. Every Thursday (or maybe just today, idk I just made this edition up) we will show funny videos. Only one day left in the hellish work week, so we need some laughter. Or maybe just a nap. But enjoy these videos, nonetheless.

For the purpose of HILARITY, watch this video first. Please and thank you.

Let’s take a minute to calm ourselves, and catch our breaths….

HOW FUNNY WAS THAT GUY. Was he for real? I am worried for this rapist. The brother “gon find you. He gon find you”.

Now onto the video I like to call, Part 2. And please watch the WHOLE thing. It’s like two videos in itself.

I don’t know why ANYTHING in auto-tune is funny to me.  Also the fact that there is a SING-A-LONG is great. I definitely sang along, not gonna lie

Thank you for watching (and enjoying, admit it) the first installment of THUPER THYSTERICAL THURSDAYSSSSS. Please stay tuned for funnier videos to come…

-T