Lent: A Hypothetical

As I am sure you are fully aware [or not], Lent began yesterday on Ash Wednesday [duh]. My parents grew up very very Catholic and brought us up half-ass Catholic bordering on who-cares. We celebrate Christmas with presents and mass, Easter with candy, and Ash Wednesday with…well… no recognition whatsoever.

In the forty days between Ash Wednesday and Easter a good Catholic decides on a unnecessary/extravagant part of their life they could probably do without, i.e. bacon. The idea is a fast or a sacrifice to prepare spiritually for Easter. So I should be preparing spiritually for eating too much candy my mother still buys me even though I am twenty-three years old.

Not a big deal.

But I digress. The purpose of this post is so I can divulge my hypothetical lent possibilities. Things I would sacrifice for 40 days if I were better at my religion:

#1. Girl Scout cookies:

Seriously. I need to stop. Or I need an intervention. Yesterday I think I ate 11 girl scout cookies. I wish I was lying. I ate them spread out throughout the day so I could easily lie to myself and pretend I only had two. Sadly, not the case. It is so hard to not eat the Thin Mints calling my name from the freezer. Yes, TRY THEM FROZEN.

#2. Snacking:

If snacking were an occupation, I would be a CEO. I eat breakfast, drive to work, and immediately need a snack. I eat something every 2 hours at work so I don’t die. I go home and eat a snack while I am making dinner [lots of snacks mixed together]. I love snacks. It is amazing that I am not a million pounds.

#3. Facebook:

I am the worst Facebook user on the face of the planet. I have like 2 pictures, no wall, and I am impossible to search for. I login and I just stare at my news feed. Over time I have ‘hid’ all the people on my news feed that annoy me. This annoy list ranges from my cousin [because he’s related to me] all the way to some random guy I only met once on vacation [because he keeps promoting night clubs]. Because I have ‘hid’ so many people, there are only around 4 left to even see on my actual news feed. Basically Facebook is now pointless for me, yet somehow it is still sucking my brain out daily.

#4. Television:

I watch AWFUL television. To my defense I do watch a few recognized and acclaimed shows like Big Love, Dexter, and The Office. To my downfall, I will admit that I also watch all the Real Housewives, Jersey Shore, and Grey’s Anatomy [STILL! I know, it isn’t even good anymore….]. I’m sure my mind could really use a good television cleanse…

#5. Shopping:

I love to shop. I sit at a computer for eight hours a day, and online shopping has become a bit of a problem. Last week I bought two new books, a craft hole puncher, and striped bakers twine. I know. All necessities. My account would love if I decided to give up shopping for 40 days. Sadly, that’s not going to happen.

And there you have it folks, my hypothetical Lent list. Sadly I ate a cookie for breakfast, I packed a lunch bag full of snacks, I’ve already logged on to Facebook today, I watched Ellen this morning, and I have 2 items in my Amazon.com shopping cart.

Le Sigh.

-A

I’m a Cotton-Headed Ninny-Muggins

Hello my little snowballs!

Let me just say, that I love Taryn and her mother.

Last night I had a small Christmas present wrapping get together complete with the Muppet’s Christmas Carol and baked goods. Sarah and Laurel made those Lemon Ricotta Cookies that Taryn so thoughtfully gave us the recipe for here. They are AMAZING. They are cakey and moist [worst word ever] and delightfully lemony! They were a snap to make, and they came out beautifully! I highly recommend the recipe to anyone with taste buds. I also made lava cake [ALSO courtesy of Taryn and her wonderful Mom], which is literally my favorite food in the entire world. I LOVE IT. I love the cakey part, I love the lava part, I love the hot gooey part…I LOVE IT ALL! I was in heaven while wrapping presents and watching Rizzo fall into snow banks. Make the cookies!

Day 9: The gift for the super nerd in your life. Most likely a sibling [Kasey]

I literally have no idea what any of that means, and the only way I could tell time would be estimating. Regardless, I am sure SOMEONE in your life can crack this clock, or at least appreciate the ridiculousness of it. Luckily for me and all those non-math majors out there, a cheat sheet is included with the clock containing an explanation of each number/symbol/mumbojumbo. This pretty as a math problem clock runs you a mere $25. A small price to pay for intelligence.

Go solve something

-A