The day after the day after the day after Christmas!

IE Another Movie Review.

GOTCHA!

Hello my dears!

How were your holidays? Still carrying over into the work week? I had an EXTRA long weekend because I always have Mondays off. Needless to say I am basically crying here in my office chair staring at my office computer, both of which are painful reminders that I am no longer in bed. WAH. Great news however. MY BFFL CO-AUTHOR of this blog is coming to the arctic to visit in a mere TWO DAYS. THAT’S RIGHT. REUNITED AT LAST. I am going to clean my house and buy enough Greek yogurt to swim in [it seriously accounts for 50% of our daily food consumption].

REGARDLESS. To keep my excitement at bay I sat down with my soon-to-be-departed Laurel and my roommate fiancée to watch a movie. Upon very little convincing we decided on the new movie “Easy A” because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Our resident Gay and the Golden Globes recognized this film with high accolades, so there had to be something worthwhile within it.

This movie was kind of amazing.

This movie follows a young girl [played by Emma Stone] as she suffers through a bit of high school and all that it has to offer. I enjoy Emma Stone for her slapstick humor, her subtle poise, and her weird throaty voice. She uses her slapstick quite a bit in this movie as she climbs the social ladder from a nobody to a slutty body. Begun somewhat accidentally Olive [Stone] starts a rumor about her sexual escapades to avoid a conversation with her incredibly irritating best friend. Word of her sluttiness [see: lies] gets around and pretty soon her GBBFL [Gay best friend for life, COME ON KEEP UP] is asking her to also lie and say she slept with him so he will stop being hazed. Pretty soon Olive is faux sluttin’ it up all over town, obviously with repercussions; see: the movie.

Highlights [reasons to see the movie]:

#1. Penn Badgley is in it. He is so hot, and does NOT disappoint in this movie. There is one scene where he is getting out of a swimming pool. This scene is irrelevant to the whole movie and entirely gratuitous, but I am not complaining.

#2. Amanda Bynes is in it. I LOVE Amanda Bynes. I am a little bit of a movie snob but I found myself literally laughing out loud to both “She’s the Man” and “Sydney White” and who could forget a segment called “ASK ASHLEY” on a little show we remember, ALL THAT!

#3. The rest of the supporting cast is PHE-NOMENAL. Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson play Olive’s AMAZING parents with stability we can only hope for as parents. [I told my roommate fiancée I wanted to be that kind of parent when I grew up. He told me I need to relax]

#4. The movie has a good message and you will spend the rest of your evening racking your brain trying to remember if you ostracized a girl you didn’t even know for getting more play than you did in high school.

 

So in conclusion, see this movie. Unless you are square. Or a skank. KIDDING! Everyone will enjoy it. Except probably your dad.

-A

Still Not Tuesday: Another Movie Review

Hello My Sugar Plum Fairies,

I know I am really throwing you off here, but I went to the movies again…NOT ON A TUESDAY. I know, I know, I am breaking all sorts of cheapskate rules. This particular Monday was a special occasion, allowing me to look past the fact that it was not Tuesday [because Tuesdays are FIVE DOLLAR MOVIE DAYS at our theater].

Laurel was leaving me. That’s right. My beloved friend and local partner in crime was departing our sleepy town for the real world. What a bitch. KIDDING!

We decided to go to the movies at 1:30 in the afternoon, because that’s normal. This time choice ALSO made it so my ticket price was only 75 cents more than on FIVE DOLLAR TUESDAYS. CA CHING.

Without a bat of an eye, we chose the steamy chick flick Love and Other Drugs.

Now let me break this down for you, I LOVE Jake Gyllenhaal. We are literally in love, minus the participation on his side. Minor details. When I was in 6th grade we watched October Sky in class, and I had to excuse myself from the rockets to sit in the hall and make a love scrap book of JG’s face. But seriously, this is where my love began. I was INFATUATED. So, basically for ten years JG has been my main man. Sometimes he falls to top 10, but usually he is in my top 5, because I love him so. He also seems like he would be nice AND funny, which also adds to it for me. I love me a good personality. [Watch this, listen to the lyrics about my man, and pay attention at 2:50… UGH SO FUNNY!]

But I digress.

Stop reading now, if you don’t want me to tell you too much about the movie. Go read something else.

Basically, this movie was really sad.

In the beginning you watch JG get his flirt on hard enough to lose his job. Like a classic manipulative person, JG then finds himself in sales- pharmaceutical sales to be precise. After putting in his hard work, he ends up meeting Ann Hathaway’s character Maggie on a chance. After she beats him, he decides he really likes her, and POSSIBLY doesn’t just want to womanize the crap out of her.

This is a little bit of a spoiler, but Maggie is incurably sick and is very cautious and a little bitter. She spends a good part of the movie trying to only use JG for sex [how could you!?] while he is trying to wife her up, hard.

Watch this movie if you fall into any of the following categories:

A). You haven’t seen Jake Gyllenhaal naked

B). You haven’t seen Anne Hathaway naked

C). You want to learn more about pharmaceutical companies and how they are secretly running your life

D). You miss the good old days of sobbing in a Nicholas Sparks movie, and you want so adult drama to ruin the rest of your day

I am going to start rating my movie reviews, and I give this one ♥♥♥ out of five. See it if you feel inclined, don’t go out of your way to do so. Unless you love him like I love him.

Seriously, you are WELCOME for this review. It is a miracle I even saw any of this movie given how distracting Mr. Gyllenhaal was.

-A