I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way

Why can’t we get pre-Bobby Brown Whitney back? I miss her.

Regardless of the awesomeness that was (is?) Whitney Houston, this post is about children. In particular, my sister.

Now circa 1990’s, Kasey was definitely the more creative one of the family. While we both sang, swam, did gymnastics, she also drew beautiful pictures, played the piano, painted things, wrote poems and witty stories. My extra hobby was probably sitting in a corner and picking my nose (joking?). Well Circa 2000’s nothing has really changed. I am still active and play sports (Yes, kickball is a sport. Just look at that headband. And that’s a pic post kickball domination game. Team name? 99 Problems but a Pitch Ain’t One. You know you love it) and Kasey is still the more hippie/artsy oriented one (No, those aren’t her sandals and socks. She’s artsy, not a tourist). Though we obviously are still the same, we have to take some credit to evolving. I mean I have tweaked the artistic abilities, ie. stick figures CAN be considered art, and one could say that Kasey’s nose has never been more boogerless (still joking?).

But one thing will forever be evolveless (word? just made it one, if not). That being the witty stories/letters/writing of my dear sister. All of this was confirmed a couple weeks ago when our friend since kindgeraten Sarah (aka Kasey’s biffle, and different than Avalon’s friend Sarah) came over to our house with a GEM of an artifact from our youth. I knew my life would never be the same when she breaks out a letter written on none other than Kirsten (as in, Kirsten the AMERICAN GIRL) stationary.

I.

Died.

Immediately.

I then open up the letter and note that this was dated June 4, 1998, making Kasey a ripe age of 8 and 11/12 months (exact ages were a big deal for us). I then go on to read the letter, written in typical little kid fashion of adorable meets sloppy. The letter went a little bit (see: exactly) like this:

Dear Sarah,

I really miss you. I hope I see you soon. Guess what! You MIGHT get to sleep over in the summer around my b-day! If you do we might get to do a movie! I wrote the script (of course.) Your sister can come too (Taryn invited her.) Well, I’ll send you a copy of the script. I’m going to be a alien. You can be a alien too. Taryn is going to be a plain girl. Emily can be one too. My name is Oido in the script. Your name is Onadon. Taryn’s is Ruby. Emily’s is Garnet. My dad is in it too. His name is Dr. Silver. Well gotta go. I’ll write some more.

Your friend,

Kasey

P.S. My b-day is July 27th

P.S.S. Call me my number is 960-0138

First thoughts:

1. Kasey’s grammar has grown significantly (“a alien”=not grammatically correct. It’s okay, Kase. Those were tough)

2. OF COURSE she wrote the script, DUH Sarah. Why get Spielberg when you have Kasey? Also, who saw it going in that direction? I didn’t. “Might get to do a movie” screams go watch one. But 8 year old Kasey said, NAY. NAY to those petty theaters. The art’s demand actors and actresses and scripts made of their own! (I said this in my best old fashion hollywood voice, British and slightly pretentious. Try it, it’s fun)

3. Why am I a plain girl? Did she really not think my acting abilities could handle extra terrestrial life?

4. Oido and Onadon. There’s just no words to explain how happy I was to read alien names my sister made up. NEVER LIVING IT DOWN.

5. My dad will no longer be referred to as dad or daddio, but as Dr. Silver.  I also now picture my dad, I mean Dr. Silver, to look like this. And he is bald, so it works.

It took me about 10 minutes to get through the whole letter. Needless to say, my makeup had come off in the process. Tears of pure joy and happiness streamed down. Then, as the topping on my sundae of happiness, I find another folded up piece of paper in the envelope. What was it you ask? It was only a drawing, done by Kasey, thanks to the swirl feature found in Paint on the computer. 

O. M. G.

Now if my makeup wasn’t completely gone already, there was definitely no hope for the remaining bits of mascara. I was going to attach said picture, for comedic purposes, but alas I forgot my camera at home. Please, someone remind me later. It’s so amazingly great, I want everyone to laugh/cry.

So, to end in the words of a great artist turned alien writer “Well gotta go. I’ll write some more”.

-T

P.S.S. (also a hard one to remember, 8 year old Kasey) We are in search for the said alien script. I’ll keep y’all posted. I am hoping drawings are attached, that look something like this… Just a thought, Oido.

Oh, uhm that’s my sister…

Kasey and I enjoy sports. There was one summer we watched Sportscenter ALL DAY….oh the days when I could sit and watch tv, and not worry about being productive. Ahh. Anyways, back to reality.

We love sports. More importantly, we love TAMPA sports. Rays, Bolts, Bucs. Love them all (well, as of recent I feel as if the Bucs don’t deserve fans. Alas, I can’t ever go against my home teams). Thankfully we have friends who share our passion with Tampa teams and we make outings to go watch games. Lucky for us we still look like we are in college, so we get student discounts. Frugal high five, whoop whoop!

Our maine (state shout out) teams are the Rays and Lightning. They have our love and loyalty. We know (sometimes pretend) all of their names and positions, and talk about them as if we were their friends. “Omg, did you see Evan‘s (Longoria- Rays) new hair cut? David (Price- Rays) is looking pretty fly tonight (idk I find that picture hilarious). Do you think Ryan (Malone- Lightning) is dating anyone? OMG RYAN (MALONE) HAS A WIFE AND 2 KIDS…NOW I CAN’T BE A HOCKEY WIFE”. Sometimes I worry we act too attached. Then I decide, I don’t care because in the back of my mind I am like, “we’re never going to see them anyway”.

Oh. Was I wrong.

It was about 9:30 pm last Friday night that (Kasey, Erica, myself and Marissa-pictured to the left-.Aka the girls) were out at a local bar that we frequent all too frequently. Kasey walks up to us and is like, “I think Lightning players are here”. Now if you know me, you know I can be two things:

1. Shy (for the most part)

2. Star crazy

Guess which one won in this battle.

Yep. Star crazy.

When I see a celeb/athlete/reality star (let’s face it, they’re not celebs) I forget ALL ABOUT being shy. ESPECIALLY if I have had anything to drink. And (sorry to say it, mom) I had a drink or two.

So there we see Steven Stamkos (Lightning, also the leading goal scorer in NHL right now. Nbd) along with Ryan Malone and two other guys (once I saw Ryan Malone, all other guys ceased to exist). I don’t say anything because who wants to be bombarded right when you walk in? Not me. So I go to the bathroom, just to walk out and see them standing RIGHT THERE. Here’s when the ballsy Taryn steps up and is like, “Oh hey guys, I see you’ve migrated to the inside of the bar?” (who says this). To which Ryan Malone answers something cute back. Well, I can only assume it was cute because I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT HE SAID. He was just so massive and attractive, I couldn’t focus. Then I bounce back to my friends outside. I tell them about my “encounter” and we then decide by the end of the night we are talking to them again.

To me “by the end of the night” meant 15 minutes later..when Erica and I (Marissa and Kasey were too embarrassed) walked back into the bar and I go, “Just so ya know, I love the Lighting..I knew y’all were players earlier, but I felt dumb”–Why Taryn. Why.

Steven Stamkos is now the one I am conversing with and says, “Oh yeah? Are you going to the game tomorrow night?”

And I am like, “Ah no! I have been in Jacksonville all week and didn’t realize there was a game!…But seriously. I’ve been a fan since ’94”.

Stamkos laughs and is like, “Ahh gotcha. But great you like us!”

Then I am like, “Yep…Welp, good luck tomorrow!”

Then we cheers our beers and I walk away feeling quite proud of myself, until the whole conversation sinks in…

1. I couldn’t have given it an hour in between my conversations? Talk about crazy.

2. None of those guys were a part of the Lightning in 1994. Why would they care I am a fan?

3. If I’ve been a fan since 1994, then shouldn’t I know when they are playing? REGARDLESS of being elsewhere the whole week?

4. Why didn’t Ryan Malone buy me a drink?- Ha. But seriously.

If this story didn’t get anymore funny, the next night we saw Stamkos out again and while my back was turned he goes to Kasey, “Did you know that she has been a fan since ’94?”. To which Kasey replies, “Oh uhm that’s my sister…”

Super.

Glad my loyalty made an impression.

-T

I’m a Cotton-Headed Ninny-Muggins

Hello my little snowballs!

Let me just say, that I love Taryn and her mother.

Last night I had a small Christmas present wrapping get together complete with the Muppet’s Christmas Carol and baked goods. Sarah and Laurel made those Lemon Ricotta Cookies that Taryn so thoughtfully gave us the recipe for here. They are AMAZING. They are cakey and moist [worst word ever] and delightfully lemony! They were a snap to make, and they came out beautifully! I highly recommend the recipe to anyone with taste buds. I also made lava cake [ALSO courtesy of Taryn and her wonderful Mom], which is literally my favorite food in the entire world. I LOVE IT. I love the cakey part, I love the lava part, I love the hot gooey part…I LOVE IT ALL! I was in heaven while wrapping presents and watching Rizzo fall into snow banks. Make the cookies!

Day 9: The gift for the super nerd in your life. Most likely a sibling [Kasey]

I literally have no idea what any of that means, and the only way I could tell time would be estimating. Regardless, I am sure SOMEONE in your life can crack this clock, or at least appreciate the ridiculousness of it. Luckily for me and all those non-math majors out there, a cheat sheet is included with the clock containing an explanation of each number/symbol/mumbojumbo. This pretty as a math problem clock runs you a mere $25. A small price to pay for intelligence.

Go solve something

-A

I Remember When Corn Rows Were Cool…

I just received an email from my one and only sister.

No, we aren’t at work (yes we are). No, we aren’t sitting 6 feet away from each other (yes we are). No, we weren’t those girls who swooned over boy bands and still know their songs (yes we are).

Regardless. I got an email from her with the subject line, “I remember when corn rows were cool…”. With a subject line like that, I didn’t even need to open the email. I just knew I was in for a jolly good time.

And of course there was a link, and before the link she writes “ENJOY. NOW. Don’t laugh out loud”.

DON’T LAUGH OUT LOUD?!

Clearly I immediately start laughing, even before opening the link. But unfortunately I could not stop the laughs from echoing and the tears from flowing. My co worker (haven’t heard from him in a while, huh. Well it’s only Tuesday) then is like, are you okay? We have tissues. Then proceeds to get me tissues, which is hilarious cause I wasn’t crying out of pain but SHEER JOY. The sad part is, is that I couldn’t even get through the whole link. I literally got through 1/5 of the site before I did that laugh where it all of a sudden (but in the end you knew it was going to happen) BUSTS out and scares everyone in the room.

So, now that I have built it up so much…

ENJOY. NOW. Don’t laugh at loud. Oh and, we all still love you Justin Timberlake. Everyone makes mistakes

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-25-most-embarrassing-pictures-of-justin-timber

-T

He Said, She Said

So. Hi. Remember me? I am the blond co-owner (do we own it?) of this blog?

Well, I am BACK. That’s right, put away those handkerchiefs and Kleenex boxes! I do apologize for my absence, work has been CRAZAAAAY! Regardless, a week is too long to make everyone wait.

With all the apologies, blah blah blah, being said time for what we all have been waiting for….another DWTS update!!

If you didn’t Google it (I know the temptation was there), last week David “I am gross” Hasselhoff got kicked off. How sad!….NOT. With that Gagfest gone and out of the picture, I can focus on other people to torment. This week’s object of humiliation? Michael Bolton

Yes, that is him pretending to be a dog. Yes, that is him in a doghouse. Now, if that isn’t embarrassing enough, he then began to DANCE. I know! Who would commit such celebrity status suicide? I mean, at least he didn’t forget his steps or anything…

oh wait.

HE DID

Michael, Michael, Michael. Please. For the sake of losing your fan base (50 year old woman pretending to be young and in the 80’s again-props to my Momma for that joke) just stop. It’s unnatural. Oh, and btw your earring is so 1990.

Pfewww. Bashing kind of takes a lot out of you! If only I was done.

We have a “situaton” on our hands this season. Uhm I know that was a horrible pun HOWEVER “the Situation” uses his OWN PUN every frickin opportunity. Don’t believe me? In practice “there’s a situation”. During the show, “there’s a situation”. During judging, “there’s a situation”.

We get it. Your nickname is also a noun. But that doesn’t mean you have more of a right of doing pun after pun after pun, it’s exhausting pretending to laugh at it!

Besides, we all know you have a situation! That situation (not being your abs) being the fact that you are PIGEON TOED.

I saw it last week and made a mental note (I can’t let possibly bashing be thrown at the wayside) then made Kasey pay attention this week…and it is more than apparent. Its like a stain on your pants. You don’t notice it at first, but once you see it THAT’S ALL YOU CAN LOOK IT. And I wasn’t the only one to point it out, my girl Carrie Ann (judge) told him. In front of 20 some odd million people. Well done, Carrie. Well done.

Oh, and btw your earring is so 1990.

Other than those two jokers, I enjoyed the show! Cheryl and Rick Fox continued to woo me. Bristol Palin is getting less awkward during the post dance questioning. Maksim was simply Maksim. AKA had me hypnotized. Lacey and that kid from That’s So Raven (I need to learn his name) were endearing and thankfully not as provocative! Florence and Corky are still the best older people on the show (sowwy Michael–ps I am in fact mocking my ex with that. Who’s name is actually Michael. Go figure). Jennifer Grey was awesome, and Derek lived up to the dramatics (not helping me figure out if you are gay or not, Derek). Margaret and Louis were hilarious and less horrible.

So, all in all there were improvements. It is the beginning of something great, people. Don’t make me be your middle man. Take a gander (not the goose) for yourself!

-T

My Face Says Hi

When I was little I didn’t understand the concept of Wisdom Teeth.  I thought they were a good thing. Why do people want to get them out? More teeth means better chewing, right?…then I turned 20. And realized THEY SUCKED SO BAD.

They did not make me wiser.

They did not make chewing better.

What they DID do was shift my teeth every so slightly, thus forever messing up my retainers. Oh and of course I had the joy of random tooth aches, followed by throbbing head aches. All in all, wisdom teeth WERE THE DEVIL.

It wasn’t until last year that I got those bad boys out of my life, forever. I was one of the lucky ones who went under while they scraped and beat and picked and cut and did whatever they have to do to get four (yeah, I got all four out like a champ) humongous teeth.

Now, for those of you who have ever “been under”, it is such  A CRAZY EXPERIENCE. You think things that are just weird, and instead of keeping the craziness inside, the medicine makes you VERBALIZE THEM. It’s essentially vodka…just in gas form.

My sister, Kasey, got hers out a couple weeks before me and after hearing her stories (ie she told everyone in the room she hated Tracy Chapman) I was SO WORRIED I’d embarrass myself.

I didn’t.

Thank goodness. I did, however, express to everyone my need for chapstick (or so I remember, Mom correct me if I am wrong). I ALSO drooled like I was a crazy person. My mom did take advantage of my state of mind and took pictures…I may share. We’ll see how  I feel.

ANYWAY. Avalon got her’s out today. She was texting me throughout the medicine kicking in process. (she unfortunately didn’t get to “go under”. Numbing medicine clearly makes you silly too). HILARIOUS.

It started off her being nervous about the procedure. Then followed by her saying she couldn’t feel the bottom half of her jaw (Avalon, please enlighten us later on this sensation. I’m curious). Then that escalated to her not wanting to swallow her tongue. Then as she was saying she had to go, she left me with this gem of a message…

“My face says hi”.

I apologize to both Kasey and Avalon (and Tracy Chapman, Kasey didn’t mean it) for telling their stories. I’m even more sorry for uploading your pics later on today.

Feel better Av!

-T

Ma!…The Meatloaf!

So I actually worked today. I am sorry the blog had to take a hit, since I know y’all (yes, I am Southern) wait with bated breaths for new posts. Well, wait no more! I am officially bored,  aka it’s time to post.

First things first. This US Open series is off the hook! No, I am not ghetto. Brad Gilbert (Andy Roddick’s old coach turned tennis commentator) actually used this phrase. More than once. Nonetheless, it is awesome! The remaining pack of players are bringing the wood- Another phrase Brad Gilbert has used MORE THAN ONCE. Which, I think wood means racket…I hope.

Now, for those of you not paying attention to it, or Sportscenter in general, my ONE TRUE LOVE, Andy Roddick ( I know, he’s cute AND loves animals), got out early on. I was more than upset when I heard this..mainly because I don’t get to stare at him running around for almost 3 hours every other day. Alas, the show (or game) must go on. Thankfully the Spanish cutie pie Rafa Nadal is still in it. And for all intents and purposes, here is another.

Look. At. Those. Biceps.

They are insane (insane in the membrane)! I can’t get enough. It’s even cuter when he tries to speak English. You just want to hold him…and ask him to flex, obvi. So, I hope Rafa wins it all. I shall update you, since I know y’all care.

Onto the next part of my post. I have told you I am addicted to How I Met Your Mother, right? Right. I am already onto the second season wooooo! I actually don’t know how many seasons there are in total, but I feel like I am making progress. Anyway, one episode I watched last night was SO FRICKIN FRACKIN FUNNY. My sister (Kasey) and I seriously could not stop laughing. We even REWOUND TO WATCH IT OVER AND OVER. Thankfully there  is a cute little site we like to call Youtube. I have attached it so everyone can laugh and watch it over and over…which you clearly will do. Believe me.

A little preface to the awesomeness you’re about to see. Neil Patrick Harris’ character (Barney) was asked when his “first time” was. He said it was at a summer camp where he taught dance, and fell in love with the daughter of a doctor…

Two dollars for anyone who can name the movie they’re making fun of, without looking at the youtube title…

Joking. If you don’t/didn’t know, then please X out of this blog. FOREVER.

-T