Sippin’ on Gin and Juice….

Just now I was perusing the interwebs when I can came across a featured blog on the WordPress homepage. Entitled “What Was Your First Cocktail”, the article quickly had me reminiscing to a time where I drank cocktails and not just my now commonplace flat diet sprite [<worst thing ever]. Because the author is classy, he lets you know immediately that his first cocktail was a martini. Well, excuse me Sir-Class-A-Lot. I would also like to point out that during the time of his first Shaken not Stirred, the author was also married. YOUTH THESE DAYS.

I might as well let you know right off the bat that I have NEVER ordered a martini in my life. Mostly I am afraid to because the bar tender will immediately rigidly point at me like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers [the 70s version] to make sure everyone knows that I am not really and adult or prestigious enough to order such a drink. I am an impostor.

According to the Miriam-Webster dictionary the definition of cocktail is as follows: an iced drink of wine or distilled liquor mixed with flavoring ingredients.

I was under the impression that to actually classify as a cocktail it needed some sort of specific ingredient like vodka or gin or something. Who am I to argue with the dictionary.

Based on this definition my first cocktail happened before I could order it at a bar like a classy person. Now, in all honesty I don’t really remember what my first cocktail was. Despite what you may be thinking, this is not because I instantly got sooo wasted that I promptly forgot. It’s more like I try and erase bad tastes from my memory so I never have to conjure them up when people mention them in the future. Unless you are this swanky martini guy, your first drink probably wasn’t the tastiest thing your buds have ever experienced. Given these weird circumstances there are a few possible “cocktails” that may have easily taken my “first-time” spot.


1. Rum and Coke

2. White Russian

3. Vodka Soda

Mostly all disgusting, I know. Rum and Coke? What am I fifteen? But seriously. The first time you want to drink something you really do think about commercials you have seen on television for direction in what to purchase; ie Bacardi. Let me just tell you, Bacardi is disgusting in all forms but especially in the RAZZ form. Avoid at all costs. White Russians? Yes. Keeping in Klassy. Like a 75 year old. Last but not least, the tried and true, Vodka Soda. I still drink this, that’s how you know it’s good. I’m hoping my first cocktail was a V.Soda so I can hold on to my dignity and pretend that even as a first time drinker I was savvy. Unfortunately I think that the more likely first drink was a rum and coke, heavy on the RAZZ.

What was your first cocktail?!


P.S. Writing this in the morning is making me want to throw up.



We like stuff too.

If you have read more than one entry on this blog you know that we live on haterade. We come off as friendly (just Taryn) so we need to vent our frustrations on this blog. We are really just voicing our opinions, but I have noticed that we may be only recording our displeasures. With this in mind, I have decided to share with you some things we love (we meaning mostly me, because I am writing this, not Taryn).

I love THIS BLOG. I will give you a quick rundown. John and Sherry met, got married, bought a house, started a family, and I LOVE THEM (in the creepiest way possible). I may or may not be planning a wedding (I am) and their DIY wedding section is downright inspiring. They quit their corporate jobs to keep up with the blog where they share their projects and lives with (creepy) readers (like me). They’re home projects are amazing, and have inspired me to attempt change in my abode more than once. Also, they are funny! It’s basically a win, win, win, win, win…win…

Taryn and I LOVE this website/retail as well. These necklaces are adorable (yet small) in person. I love all the different occasions and I love the different designs. Taryn and I ordered this one ( to proclaim our love for each other).

We both LOVE Modern Family. Everything about that show is pure genius. The show is on Wednesday nights on ABC at 9pm. The show features a family and all of its extensions and the hilarity that is everyday life. Every character is well developed and the situations are somewhat common and easy to relate to. Seriously, this is the most hilarious show on television right now. Watch it, or watch something else.

Taryn and I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Emperor’s New Groove. This movie was a chance stroke of genius for Disney. The story follows a selfish emperor who has been turned into a Llama and lost his way. HILARIOUS. The dialogue featuring David Spade as Kuzco the Emperor/Llama is perfection. This was probably one of the greatest movies ever made. RENT IT. THEN BUY IT. THEN GIVE IT REPEATEDLY AS CHRISTMAS GIFTS.

Whenever I am feeling down I click to this website. The fact that I am telling you (all 5 readers) about this website is proof that I love you (I don’t actually love you.). I get a lot of my random funny “original” material from this website, but it seriously brightens my day. Daily. Feelin down? Czech it out. It’s a bundle o’ laughs.

I am obsessed with this book. Mark Haddon was originally a children’s author but he took a hiatus and wrote two adult novels, this was one of them. The story follows a kindergarten boy with Autism and is told from his perspective in its entirety. You will laugh, you will cry, you will want to go work with autistic kids (because who doesn’t). It is a really good read, pick it up if you haven’t already.

We love Elf, Stars Hollow, Vacations, and Hockey.

I love Pinnacle Whipped Cream Vodka. I am not a drinker; in fact one could say that if drinking were a skill I am awful at it. This whipped cream vodka turned my life around with its deliciousness. Take a taste, it’s cheap and worth it.

And finally, we love SoCarolineSays. We’ve followed Caroline’s blog through the good times and the bad, through name changes and URL changes, we’re in love. Caroline says all the thing we wish we could with more eloquence and substance than we could ever muster. She’s also HILARIOUS. And I just love her.

And I’m done.

Look at that! We can be positive sometimes.