It’s Britney Bitch

(Obviously I watch Glee) Hello lovely readers. Can I just say, I LOVE FALL. I literally love every single thing about this season, so much so, that I want to marry it. And I will now dedicate an entire post to my new spouse. Things I love about fall:

  1. It gets cold, I get to wear sweaters. Now if anyone knows me you know that I LOVE SWEATERS. I love long sleeve, short sleeve, hooded, cardigan, turtle neck…seriously. You name it, I own it, and wear it every day.
  2. I love Halloween. Like it’s a disease. I don’t love Halloween in the skanky “I’m a referee!” kind of way, I love it in a Tim Burton kind of way. I love the Nightmare before Christmas and the Corpse Bride. I love pumpkins, scarecrows and CANDY! College girls have tried really really hard to get me to hate Halloween, yet I prevailed!
  3. I love fall festivities, more than is healthy. I run around pumpkin patches like I’m seven years old at Willie Wonka’s chocolate factory. I run through leaf piles. I seek out apple orchards and pull a “The Hills are Alive”.
  4. I hate football. Live football (see: tailgating) I can handle. Wasting away the BEAUTIFUL fall days inside to watch guys touch each other? No thanks. I can do that outside.
  5. I also hate Thanksgiving. Turkey=gross. Stuffing? That even SOUNDS gross. It also looks gross, have you ever looked at it? Cranberry sauce? Disgusting. But this isn’t a hate list. It’s a love list.
  6. Seriously have you seen the leaves in New England in the fall? It’s like beauty attacking your face. But in a loving, comforting way. THIS IS A REAL PICTURE. Ugh, so beautiful.
  7. Oh yea, MY BIRTHDAY IS IN OCTOBER. I love my birthday. You might say “obviously Avalon”, but you’d be surprised. People often tell me that they hate their birthday, to which I promptly smack them in the face and walk away. BIRTHDAYS ARE AMAZING. They are an entire day dedicated solely to you! You can do whatever you want! I usually take of like 3 days for my birthday, frolick around, and make everyone I know do it with me. I eat lots of food and buy myself lots of presents. I think people who hate their birthday rely on other people to make it great. WHY??? IT’S A DAY ABOUT YOU. Make it a great day. And shut up. (sidenote: this year I get to spend it with Taryn. AGAIN. Hollaaa)
  8. There are lots of dumb holidays where you get time off, that is if you live in Massachusetts and not some sad excuse for a state (Florida). We get to bask in time off on Labor Day, Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, and usually even The Day After Thanksgiving.
  9. I love the smell of fall. You know what I’m talking about. That spicy, cinnamony, clovey, homey, comforting smell that penetrates the nostrils. Smells like a mix between pumpkin pie and spiked apple cider. I want to live in that smell (so just to review, I’m marrying fall, and we’re going to live in the smell of it).
  10. After fall, is Christmas. NUFF SAID.

And this concludes my love note to fall.

Save the Dates for our union will be arriving shortly.

-A

HI! My middle name is awkward.

Last night Laurel surprised me with an early birthday present [my birthday is OCTOBER 15th put it in your calendar] and took me to a concert at our local adorable music hall.  It was a rainy dreary night and I was secretly reluctant to go out BECAUSE MY FACE IS STILL SWOLLEN.

Regardless, we made our way into the teeny tiny venue/restaurant and we were seated front and center of the teeny tiny stage. We got comfortable and ordered some beer and French fries in preparation for a surely awesome concert.

The opener came out.

So did the demons inside of us.

The opening act was so talented, so nervous, and looked like he was about 15. The first words out of his mouth gave way to the fact that he was from Nashville, Tennessee.  This was when Laurel and I got inappropriate. We have a disease and the main symptom is we talk too loudly.

Avalon: “OOO LAUREL! NASHVILLE! MAYBE HE WILL LET YOU SLEEP ON HIS COUCH!”

Laurel: “OH GOSH MAYBE. HOW OLD IS HE? HE LOOKS 14.”

Yes, these are actual excerpts from our conversation. This is the room we were in. Clearly he could hear us. Then Ali got there.

Ali: “LAUREL YOU CAN HAVE HIM IF HE CUTS HIS HAIR.”

Do all my friends have this disease? Maybe. Why didn’t we get kicked out you ask? No idea. To be fair, we weren’t really aware of how loud we were actually being. This doesn’t make it better it just makes me feel better. OKAY?!

After Tyler James finished his set we anxiously awaited the main event and what drew us to the concert in the first place. Griffin House is a sweet unique singer that looks a little too much like an emaciated Bono.

We were all slightly in love with G. House [well, except Ali maybe] and proclaimed this love in the same loud fashion as before at our tiny table in the middle of the room. We sat there swaying to his sweet ballads, commenting how Bono-ish he looked while our waitress flashed us maybe a thousand times.

[One particular song was hilarious, called Woman with the Beautiful Hair. His preface: one day he was sitting around remembering the angst and heartache of a break up in 9th grade. His skankalicious GF left him for a senior basketball player. G. House then admitted to spending his nights lying in bed fantasizing about killing the man who took his love away. So he wrote a murder ballad. How perfect is that. The chorus went something like “I wanna take you down to the river….and watch you drownnnnnn”. We’ve all wanted to kill someone…right? Anyone?]

When the show ended my gaggle and I were high on live music and greasy food, ready to conquer the rest of the evening [see: play Mario Kart]. As we were getting ready to leave G. House announced he would be standing at the door to say his hellos to the crowd [see: 30 people] as we left.  Now readers, you must understand something. I love music and feel it in my bones, but I don’t know how to be a groupie. In fact, I have such a strong aversion to being a groupie that I don’t even know how to have a normal conversation with a performer.

[side tangent: As young children [16] Laurel and I went to an Aesop Rock show. We were standing in the back of the club when a creepy hooded guy tried to “spit game” if you will. In true Laurel and Avalon form we frowned and ran away. Then the hooded guy went on stage. And introduced himself as Aesop Rock. Groupies all over the world: 1, Avalon and Laurel: 0].

After about 2 seconds of waiting in line for G. House we decided we had to leave, so we tried to skip the line and dip out of the only door as quickly as possible. Unfortunately there was a break in the crowd, and we ended up face to face with G. House himself.  Normal people in our situation would have shaken his hand, told him his music is inspiring, and flashed him a big smile before braving the rain. That is not what we did, we are not normal.

We practically sprinted by him, made 2 second eye contact, mumbled unintelligible words and fled.

Awesome.

And that is the story of how we almost met Griffin House.

[fail]

-A