Things That Don’t Matter

Hello friends,

I feel like all I’ve been doing lately is apologizing for being the crap end of this relationship. I’M SORRY.

I have been HELLA [awful] busy, and I’m just trying to balance everything out. However, today in an effort to forget all things I should be doing [planning a wedding, finding a place to live, working…] I am going to tell you about two things that are bothering me.

#1. Josh Duhamel and Fergie Ferg.

Okay. I know they’ve been married for a couple of years by now, but I’m still very against this union. I saw J. Duh on Ellen this morning and he is so dang adorable! He was born in North Dakota and went to school to be a dentist [adorable]. Currently he is organizing a charity for Japan that involves running and people giving money. Adorable. Personable. Great. It may be also worth noting that he was in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.  While I don’t really remember this movie, I am sure that he was great in it and only outshined a tiny bit by Topher Grace.

Now. Fergie? She was addicted to Meth. In her wikipedia it states she used HYPNOTHERAPY to kick the habit. Um. Seriously Fergie? Meth is disgusting, and while I applaud your ability to beat the statistics and kick your serious addiction, I feel like maybe you and Josh aren’t cut out for each other. I am an expert on celebrity couples, after all.

#2.

Sigh.

This one really hurts my soul.

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THEY ARE DATING.

I know, my heart is broken too. Apparently this guy’s name is Michael Sheen and he is from London. Or Ireland. Or something. He was in movies like Frost/Nixon and The Queen and I Ruined Avalon’s Fantasy Couple.

I need Ryan and Rachel back together. I may have mentioned it a few times, but seriously when this couple broke up it hurt my heart. They were so amazing together, and it was like a living fairytale after they did the notebook.

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I know, how perfect.

And then just in case I haven’t plunged the knife deep enough into your chest….

Yeah. WHAT HAPPENED.

Please get back together. Kthanks.

That’s all for now folks.

-A

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