Stripes, Stripes, Stripes, Stripes, Stripes, Stripes

[Sung gracefully to the tune of “Shots” by LMFAO]

Happy Friday!!

This morning I looked out of the window and it was snowing. By the time I got in my car it was sleeting. On my drive in to work it was raining.

I’m over winter.

So today, on to spring and my favorite new trend. Plaid.

JUST KIDDING! It is stripes, obviously.

I am recently in love with my stripes. In my closet it looks like I live by the every other policy. Every other item is striped. I wear stripes under solids, stripes with bold colors, stripes on the top, stripes on the bottom… I am loving that this look is back. Today I am wearing a striped button down under a hunter green cable knit sweater, basically I look like an L.L. Bean mom. I’m not selling you on the stripes yet?! But seriously, you don’t have to dress like a mother to incorporate the wonderfulness of stripes. I spent several hours at work finding these perfect examples of fantastic stripes to share with you.

[1. Maritime Sweater from J. Crew, $78; 2. Box Tee from BCBG, $61; 3. Angora Blend Striped Skirt from Forever21, $15; 4. Nicky Mock Dress from Alice+Olivia, $395; 5. Cashmere Stripe Cardigan from J. Crew, $168; 6. Deux Lux Canvas Bag from Urban Outfitters, $69.]

Please don’t wear these all together. I am in love with all kinds of stripes, especially for the spring. Stripes give off a sort of nautical feel, which seems like a distant fantasy to me while I am in the depths of a North East winter. I can’t wait to break out the flats and wear some shorts with a striped boat neck tee. I can practically taste the strawberry popsicles, the fried seafood and the trips to Martha’s Vineyard. Just call me Jackie O.

-A

 

Happy Friday!

Hello Friends,

A lovely sort of thing just happened.

I was sitting at my desk in the computer shop I work in after I had just finished trying to explain the difference between an operating system and AOL to a woman with early onset Alzheimer [see: impossible]. In walked a rather tall young man with a huge beard and a ripped shirt. Despite the fact that he was a ginger, he seemed like a rather nice guy. He asked if we had a computer part that is extremely common, and in fact we have a million of the suckers kicking around the shop. Mostly because I am lazy I decided to give the part to the tall man on the house, I also don’t like wasting paper for a receipt for an item that is maybe a dollar. The guy was overly grateful, and said something along the lines of “Wow, thanks!”. The man left but was back moments later, almost making me regret my gift. From behind his back the lanky stranger produced a single kiwi, obviously as a token of his appreciation. He placed it on my desk and left.

Kiwis are my favorite.

-A

5 minutes and 20 seconds

What’s funny is that my previous novel post wasn’t supposed to be about that Clayton story at all. I got sidetracked. NO SURPRISE THERE.

My post ACTUALLY was supposed to be about what happened the other night. He doesn’t know this happened, which makes me SCREAM with laughter.

You see, Clayton and I have a funny relationship. It is essentially made up of phone tag and long endearing voicemail messages. Well, the other night was no different. It was 5:48 on Tuesday, and I was still at work when he called. I let it go to voicemail cause my boss was still there, HA. It wasn’t until I was going to bed when I listened to it.

It was a butt dial.

I was about to delete, when I started hearing singing. I was like, what is going on?? As I keep listening I realize he butt dialed me while in his car and he was flipping through the radio. I would be a liar if I said I didn’t listen to the whole thing. Which, “the whole thing” in this case is 5 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS. I just couldn’t get myself to get off of the phone. I justt HAD to hear what song he stopped on and sang for a verse or two. It was a like a game. Immediately after listening, I wrote down all the songs. Because I knew he’d get a kick out it. So, in order, I give to you Clayton’s radio selections along with my commentary:

1. Back to December- Taylor Swift (for only a line or two)

Good vocals. Really showed some emotion to T. Swifts lyrics “And I go back to December all the time”.

2. What’s My Name- Rihanna (maybe 30 seconds)

Couldn’t help but laugh when it was the part ” Hey boy I really wanna see, if you can go downtown with a girl like me”. Once again, great vocals. Rihanna would’ve been proud.

3. Hard- Ke$ha (not gonna lie, this was the longest standing song. Clayton is very flippy I realized)

I sang along, with Clayton. We sound good together by the way. Possibly duet at Avalon’s wedding?? Think about it.

4. Undo It- Carrie Underwood

“I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it”. LOVED. IT. Stellar. Carrie ain’t got nothing on you.

I sorry, but not sorry I didn’t answer your call, Clayton. I was a little disappointed that our girl Mawiah didn’t make a cameo…perhaps next time.

I can’t wait until I butt dial someone and they hear my Celine Dion blasting…let’s just say, I can’t hit the high notes. But I sure do try. Loudly.

 

-T

And I guess it’s pronouced, Ma-Why-Uh?

Yesterday I did not have internet connection. It was terriboo (said in British accent. It’s fun. Try it).  I had my whole day planned..I was going to work for a bit, get my Glee on, work a little more, then watch more Glee. It was going to be spectacular! Then at around 11:01, my day came crumbling down. True I got to go to Panera, where I received a free cup of soup (I know, always a silver lining), but still. Even if I was a good worker and didn’t use internet as a work distraction, I needed my work email! I am a VIP in the accounting world. Really. Ha, not. Regardless. I am baaaaack! My Mozilla is fired up and making moves. Loves it.

So I know I already had a Valentine’s Day post, but I felt the need to make ANOTHER. And this post I’d like to dedicate it to a beloved friend of both Avalon and I. That person would be our resident gay, who goes by the name of Clayton. Errrr I mean, David. Oh, confused are we? Let me take y’all back to a mere 368 days ago (February 14, 2010 for those of us who haven’t had our caffeine kick in yet).

It was a brisk (I don’t actually remember the temp) morning in Florida, when Kasey and I heard someone at the door. We OBVIOUSLY didn’t answer, because we both had our pajamas still on and didn’t feel like talking to people. So we muted the tv (we’re crazy) and waited til they were gone to run to the window and see who it was. And, LO AND BEHOLD, it was 1-800-Flowers.

Uhm. We both were single and had zero prospects. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I am sure we had a few prospects, but they wouldn’t have had the balls (sorry mom) to send us flowers. So we got the flowers and they were addressed to yours truly. My first thought was, oh it’s from my mom! To which Kasey was like, uhm hi I would’ve gotten some too. I was wracking my head trying think…Avalon? Mike (ex, ew)? The list stopped there, because there honestly was no reason for anyone else to send me flowers.

So then Kasey and I put our heads together to try and figure it out. We came up with…OPEN THE BOX/CARD. That’s right. We hadn’t even done that yet. We really are smart, I promise.

We then open the box to find a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of red roses. They were lovely. And I was really fascinated with 1-800-Flowers, since my flowers weren’t even a little bit dead looking. ANYWAYS. Open up the card and it says, and I quote, ” Dear Mom, Happy Valentines Day. Love, David”.

Uhm. Okay?

Not only am I NOT a mom, but I wouldn’t name my child David.

So since the whole “open-the-box-and-see-who-they’re-from-idea” was a waste (not to mention, I am now worried that I didn’t get flowers and they were delivered to the wrong house ) I am back at square one. Quick side note: the wrong delivery thing could have actually happened, because my next door neighbor has a son named David… I was seriously so confused. I thought about waltzing over to my neighbors house (awkward, thank goodness I didn’t). The only thing stopping me was that on the box it had MY NAME, and MY ADDRESS, and MY CELL PHONE. So I am like, IT OBVIOUSLY IS FOR ME.

So I then call my mom. She has no idea what is going on. So my next thought is Avalon, who is at work. I call, tell her my dilemma. And she is like, it was Clayton!

Pfew! Everything is now making sense! A part of me was somehow relived there wasn’t some secret admirer I had out in the world. Creepy.

After the “mystery” is solved, I call up my mom to tell her I figured it out and she is all like, That is so nice! Ya know you should call 1-800-Flowers and tell them they messed up. Clayton paid money for it to be right. Try and get free flowers!

My mom is actually the best type of consumer out there…she tells you when you mess up, and doesn’t bad mouth the company. AND WILL ALWAYS try and get something for free in return ha. Love it. She called and got me a free Line Jumper pass for Disney. Hells yes.

Anyways, I do as I am told and call 1-800-Flowers. A nice young man answers the phone (which I was surprised considering it’s Valentines Day. I assumed I’d be on hold forever). I tell him what happened and prefaced it with, BUT I KNOW WHO SENT IT SO DON’T FEEL BAD. I mainly wanted to call to let David and his mom (who?) know there was a mix up. The man was really nice and we were about to get off the phone when he is like, oh would you like to know what YOUR card said? So I was like, oh. SURE!

This is the part of the story that kills me. Everytime. (And I do apologize, I don’t remember it word for word. I didn’t have time to take it all in, out of sheer embarrassment)

The man starts out, “My dearest Taryn…. You are so beautiful (that might’ve been made up, bahaha). Whenever I look into your eyes, it is like looking into the ocean. I hate that one day your heart will break when you see me walking hand and hand with another man. I will always love you” and at this point I am laughing and crying and embarrassed. Idk why I was embarrassed. It’s the same feeling I would get when people would read what I wrote in their yearbooks in front of me, out loud. It also at this point when the man stops and goes, “…I will always love, and I guess it’s pronounced, Ma-Why-Uh?”. And I am on the other line going, yep Mawiah. Thank you! (aka get me off the phone). And he is like, “Welp. That was weird. Have a good day!” click.

I die.

Welp, that was weird!

Also just a little behind the scenes action: The first time I met Clayton I was visiting Avalon and we watched a Barbara Walters (Baba Wawa) special with Mariah Carey (Mawiah Cawey). The whole entire segment was hysterical. We still quote it. “Mawiah, you awre a suhvivah”, “Mawiah, is it twue youwr sista was a pwostitute?”. We die. Seriously.

Anyways, needless to say it was the BEST Valentine’s Day Ever! Clayton will forever be my David. And I will forever be his mom. (creepy? no). Probably one of the best parts of this WHOLE situation, is that fact that David’s mom got that card. And is reading and thinking, is my son gay? Who is Mawiah? My eyes aren’t blue!

Loves you Clayton!

-Mom (aka T)

Not Enough Bieber: A Grammy Recap

Hello My Little Worker Bees,

In case you were living under a rock [or out to eat like Taryn], I will grace you with a little Grammys recap. I know you really care, and you couldn’t possibly have read about it by now from any other source. You’re welcome.

Let me start by saying that the Grammys are doing for awards what MTV did for music. Revolutionary at first, irrelevant now. I think I saw maybe 4 awards given away. At an award show. Aside from this GLARING issue, the “award” show was a decently enjoyable way to waste my entire Sunday evening.

The show began with a little Aretha Franklin tribute by Jennifer Hudson, Florence from Florence and the Machine, Martina McBride, Christina Aguilera, and Yolanda Adams. So… I’m not going to say Florence stuck out like a sore thumb but…she should be happy Christina tripped and took the attention away from her. The tribute was nice, but Christina’s obvious impending pregnancy and Florence’s blinding pale skin was distracting.

After the tribute Ricky Martin spoke about something, I don’t remember what, but I do remember he is still hot.

Then came the most anticipated [for some] performance of the night. Lady Gaga. I was not impressed. I think her new song is mediocre, and if she released that instead of Just Dance as her first song ever, she would be lame and not popular by now. Does anyone hear a little of Madonna’s Vogue in this new song? Weird robot talking? Check. She came out on stage in an egg? Whatever. Her dance was lame, her ponytail was once again Madonna, and her face is scary. GASP! I might be over Gaga.

Then came Miranda Lambert’s performance. Kindaaaaaa boring. She sang The HouseThat Built Me, which is actually a really sweet song. She was introduced by her darling fellow country singer/ fiancée Blake Shelton, and that was kind of the highlight of her performance. She was a little nervous I think and maybe self conscious because her dress looked like liquid chocolate. In a not cute way. Is there a cute way? Regardless, she went on to win a Grammy for something.

With a few more dumb comments and probably no awards, Bruno Mars came out to perform with B.O.B. and that girl with the crazy hair. Bruno didn’t sound as amazing as he could, but the performance had a fun motown feel that was worth watching. He looks weird though. Just saying.

Then, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The Biebs. Justin took the state with his mentor Usher and they both murdered the performance. Sometimes when someone says something was murdered they mean it in a good way, I do not. Dancing and singing can’t be easy, and Usher made that clear. Puberty can’t be easy, and Justin made that clear. Oh dear.

After J.Biebs performed there were some other random blurbs and probably no awards again. Mumford and Sons took the stage with the Avett Brothers, and they sounded amazing. Usually at shows like this, actual talent shines through while sucky talent is only amplified. I greatly enjoyed the performance, and then the brought Bob Dylan out. I mean I know he’s a legend and all…but give the guy a break. Let him enjoy retirement, the nursing home, his old age in peace.

Then magic happened. Cee-lo with some random puppets performed his amazing hit of the year, Forget You [yes, it was censored. This is national television people]. To my delight Gwyneth Paltrow came out to assist Mr. Cee-lo in a spandex Olivia Newton-Johnesque black body suit. She writhed around on the piano while Cee-lo played it in a bird costume. Yes, it was as ridiculous as it sounds. All of this ridiculousness however, made for one of the best performances of the evening. BRAVO. [see below for an awful recording of it]

Lady Antebellum SWEPT at this year’s awards, and I am less than pleased. The song they won for was “Need You Now“. I will wait as you click the link and say “Ohhhh right, that song”. Yes, I know! They one GRAMMYS for that shizz. This song is whiney and awful. I tried to like it so many times because that melody is so darn catchy, but the lyrics. UGH THE LYRICS. “It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk, and I need you now”. Seriously? Is that supposed to sound sweet or inviting? Despicable.

Eminem performed with Dr. Dre, Rihanna, Some Random Lady, and Adam Levine [I know], and I have to say it was the best performance of the night. Rap at award shows, or live ever, usually sounds awful and you are counting the seconds until it is over. This group of performers offered audiences a pleasant surprise with the clarity the performance conveyed as well as the showmanship. I know, I was surprised too.

Then Arcade Fire won the coveted album of the year. Yes, seriously. Who are they you ask? Youtube them, then get back to me. I am all for indie bands winning Grammys, in fact I support it, but I hate Arcade Fire. I’ve seen them perform and they look like kids I went to college with raving around the quad with their vintage [see: Urban Outfitters] garb and their dad’s guitar [see: bought it brand new with dad’s money]. They all wear headbands incorrectly, and scream into microphones. I was displeased.

There you have it folks, my unnecessary, incomplete, biased recap of the Grammys. Four days later.

-A

Broken Heart? Get a Third Opinion.

Didn’t like our take on Vday?

Try this one on for size!!

-A

Valentine’s Day: A Movie Review [Note: Not a review of the movie “Valentine’s Day”]

Hello Love Birds,

I hope everyone had a darling Valentine’s Day! Alright, in true We Love Ourselves fashion, I am going to get my hate on for a second. My hatred is surprisingly not directed towards Valentine’s Day, but in fact directed towards people who hate Valentine’s Day. Um. Get over yourselves. Growing up Valentine’s Day was about making a dumb card for EVERYONE in your class and then separating the ones with candy from the ones with no candy. We should be over that by now. Haters of VDay often say things like “It is a made up holiday”, “You should love your significant other EVERY day, not just one day in February”, or my favorite “Couples suck”. Oh I’m sorry, you’re right, a day dedicated to love is BLASPHEMY. We can celebrate St. Patrick’s Day when all anyone does is drink regardless of their Irish status, but a day of LOVE is made up and ridiculous? OH OKAY. I will admit, yes, you should love your significant other every day of the year, but Vday is a nice time to go that extra mile to show appreciation and affection. If your significant other only shows love on Vday, then you have another problem entirely. Ahh, the old “couples suck” excuse. Last time I checked the average person loves people who they aren’t dating. For example, I brought my mother a bag of truffles for Vday and babysat my younger sister, BECAUSE I LOVE THEM. Do I often buy my mother chocolate? Yes. Do I often spend time with my sister? Yes. Is it nice to appreciate and be appreciated? Yes. SUCK IT UP AND SPREAD THE LOVE.

Sorry about that.

Because we’re 97 years old the roommate fiancée and I decided to go to the movies at 1:15pm on Valentine’s Day. You heard me. Given or lackluster choices we settled on Just Go With It because we both felt fondly for Adam Sandler and it was definitely a better choice than The Roommate [although possibly not a better choice than Never Say Never…].

All in all, I enjoyed this movie. Was it the best movie I ever saw? Of course not. Was my $5.25 matinée ticket well spent? I think so.

Adam Sandler plays a successful plastic surgeon who is getting his playa playa on in the dating community by pretending he is married. He attracts women by weaving a story placing him as the victim and his faux wife as some sort of abuser [genius, actually]. Jen Aniston plays his practical single mother receptionist, whom Sandler trusts as a BFFL. Suddenly Sandler is swept off his feet by a young [DUMB] blonde Brooklyn Decker, and he wants to put away his fake wedding ring for life…until she finds it. Sandler’s web of lies gets larger and begins to encompass Aniston and Aniston’s children. Will it get out of control? Will Decker find out? Is Dave Matthews really in the movie? All of these questions are answered in the film, shocking, I know.

This movie was actually enjoyable mostly due to the relaxed nature and on-screen chemistry between Sandler and Aniston. The jokes were repetitive but appreciated, and there were definitely a few laugh out loud moments. I distinctly remember my roommate fiancée laughing WAY too loud when someone’s hand gets pooped on. Yea…But don’t let that deter you from seeing it. See this movie if you are seeking a break from trying to figure out how to file your taxes and are in need of a mindless, happy, and enjoyable comedy.

SPOILER ALERT:

Dave Matthews is actually in this movie.

-A

Listen, I’m a player. But I shut down my playerness from New Years to St. Patty’s Day just so I can avoid this day

Just as a quick preface: Unlike my Valentine’s Day quote above, I am not that person who despises or is a bitter mess when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I AM that girl who eats an inordinate amount of chocolates. But that’s besides the point.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, as we all know I am sure. I received a Valentines text/call/gift from only a handful of people. Only 2 of them were guys. Well actually 3. But the other was my dad. One of the guys has a girlfriend and the other one, I want to be his girlfriend. I WISH I WAS JOKING. But anyway, I’M NOT BITTER.

Regardless, this post is not about my lack of suitors. It is, in fact, about a text I got. Not from a friend. Not from a potential boyfriend. But from my Gramma Di (yes, that’s what we call her).

I don’t know if any of you have gone to the site, When Parents Text but it is HILARIOUS. I die when I read them. As I have stated before, my mother is the funniest at her texts and emails (and not in the, “oh she doesn’t know how to use technology” type of way. But just because she’s funny. Idk.) so when I read the site I immediately think of her. Well yesterday, my Gramma is rapidly becoming a close second to the hilarity of texting. I have included the conversation (obviously, otherwise this is just a tease post) and have spared zero details.

Gramma Di: Happy valentines 2 u we lv u very much. Lv gdi & gdaddy

Me: Happy Valentine’s day! Love y’all! Are you doing anything exciting?

Gramma Di: Yes going to golden corral & buy paint

Me: Hahaa that’ll be fun! Eat some dinner rolls for me!

Gramma Di: That’s rite ha ha. How did u do at kick ball yesterday?

Me: Omg we won the championship! Woo! It was a good game. We won 6-3.

Gramma Di: Very good, did u score?

Me: I did! I’m not too shabby gramma di haha

Gramma Di: U are the best. U are in my book. Chip off the old block

Me: Haha I do get it after you!

Gramma Di: Ur my angel. U & Kasey r the best

And then it ended. I don’t know why, the whole conversation had me CRACKING UP. Not only do I wish I went to Golden Corral for Valentine’s Day, but I wish I could do text shorthand. She rocked it. And just to note, my Gramma Di is 66 years old. Her ringtone at one point in time was, “Don’t Cha”. As in, “don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me”. She said she wanted that ringtone because she “liked the beat”. Oh. Okay. Hilariouuussss.

Hope everyone had a fabulous day!

-T

PS – My mother sent me a link to a song, and I love it. Maybe for the beat? I don’t know. Enjoy. And in the words of my mom,  ” Some of the lyrics are cheap time whore…lol ha ha”. Already enjoying it, mother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb6cBKE3WzQ

Hi, I am a Vegan [for now]

Hello readers!

I thought I would update you on how our vegan attempt is going!

I will be honest with you, we still fail every now and then…

Nutella? = Not vegan. Shocking, I know.

3 M&Ms = Not vegan. [That is how many it took before I realized how dumb I was].

So far it has been relatively easy. Our breakfasts consist of fruit smoothies or cereal with almond milk [which is amazing and delicious]. Our lunch boxes are full of fruit and veggie slices, peanut butter, and pastas. Our dinners are heaping portions of cooked vegetables and a random grain here and there. It’s been pretty painless, but there have been some sad spots here and there.

Yesterday my boss tried to buy me clam chowder [my fave], I had to decline. Then an adorable child brought me a Boston cream donut [I KNOW, also my favorite], and I had to decline. The cupcakes I baked at the beginning of the week? Nope. The hot pizza down the street? Nope. Cheese all together? Nope.

Needless to say when this week is over I will be running into cheese’s arms so we can be together again at last. I am surprised how involved I was with dairy and the extent of our relationship. I eat cheese on so many things, and yogurt almost daily! I love a cupcake here and there and pizza when I’m feeling like burning my mouth because I don’t know how to wait.

I appreciate all the veggies vegan week has forced into my body, but if there is one thing this week has shown me, it is that I am in no way ready to give up cheese. If anyone out there is thinking of making the switch, or at least trying it out, we have some advice here at We Love Ourselves.

Drink Almond Breeze Almond Milk. Seriously. Milk is kind of gross, but I love cereal and making delightful smoothies. One scary day I decided to try Almond Breeze vanilla, and my life was changed. It is light, delicious, and not gross.

-A

I use my “worktime” wisely.

So my co-workers (yes, it’s now plural) think they are hilarious. One in particular is my favorite, because he is ACTUALLY funny. I have compiled a list of nicknames he has given me. In order from “omg that’s hilarious” to “omg please stop talking to me”:

1. Tay-Rone

2. T-Rone

3. Tay-Z

4. T-Dizzle

5. Tizzle

6. Tarynator

7. Taryn the Sick Monster- I’ve been sniffling recently (see: I’ve been sick, but denying it).

The other day we went out to lunch with his friend Dougie Fresh (no, I didn’t ask the obvious question of if that was his real name. And no, I didn’t get laughed at the rest of lunch). He said that Dougie (actual name, Doug) thinks my name is for reals Tay-Rone. Super.

What’s funny is my co-worker looks like the least ghetto person alive. The nicknames prove otherwise.

 

-Tay-rone